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The Despair of single black women in the West

it is not in the habit of Flashmag editorials, to enter in the privacy of people and especially the fairer sex. But the plight of love affairs of black women living in the West is a real social problem, as celibacy imposed by social hardships, is something that touches the deepest sensitivity of someone of the opposite sex who unfortunately, has the moral duty to say things as they are, to open an honest debate. For this purpose suitable questions have to be posed, for appropriate responses to be found, in the enigmatic paradigm of romantic relationships of African and African descendants living in the West. Why a majority of over 80%, of black women living in the West are single? From Paris to London, New York, Los Angeles via Montreal it's the same old refrain, wealthy or not they are desperately alone, with or without children ... Tragedies such as the one of Joyce Carol Vincent (1965-2003) challenge the depths of our thinking on the society in which we live. Joyce Carol Vincent was a British woman, from Caribbean and Indian origin, who passed from life to death in 2003 in her apartment in Wood Green, North London. For more than 3 years her body remained, sequestered in the apartment without anyone realizing she was dead. She had a good education and a stable and highly paid job in the international accounting firm Ernst & Young; she had never had a problem with drugs or alcohol. However, for reasons unexplained she left her job, probably looking for something else and that something else could have been a soul mate, the presence of someone else to whom she coulde speaks to, from time to time. She would have had a brief love affair not more... her family believed she had a fiancé, she would have actually never met in reality, no doubt, telling stories to silence the concern of her relatives. A very common occurrence among young black women without a partner. They opt sometimes to live in a mythomaniac imaginary, laying to themselves, their families and close acquaintances. Some push the plug further by buying themselves engagement rings they exhibit as trophies. Excessive loneliness creates a neurosis, which has adverse effects such as, compulsive lying, that, in these cases is something very common and excusable. Nature abhors imbalance, they write a scenario born in their minds and play the movie in real life, trying to heal social alienation, by insane behavior. This fiction outstrip reality by influencing it decisively , as some women manage to scare off all well intended men, while paradoxically they attract cheats and cowards, by playing this deceitful movie . Therefore selectively, those who decide to run after them, are men without faith or moral rectitude , because in general men who have a certain moral code will not strive to run after women they know already taken, it’s the opposite, for patented womanizers. Far from making an apology on black women love affairs in the West, it is also very important to look at the social fabric, to try to understand why they come to such ends. And in this respect it is essential to discuss the racialist character of the Western society and plagues such as social Darwinism which erects stringent standards that exclude black women, from the happiness of having a loved one at their side. While the competitive commercialism and individualism of the capitalist society blow the death knell of the little hope that they could hang as lifeline. Racialism is simply a normalization of racism aimed to give a racial connotation to the relationships between humans. This notion which seems to be accepted by all, grants privileges to some and disadvantages to others because of their race, proving the fact that, what is wrong remains wrong even if the majority of the populace seems to accept it. Thus in practice in the West the female ideal is white, so the black women to conform to this standard must make an effort to look like white women , using all the tricks given by the Western world, from cosmetic surgery , through hair straightening, whitening creams, and melanoma removers. It is an industry that has developed around the whitening of black women, who unfortunately despite all their efforts remain only pale copies of the original, who is the white woman. In this case it is very easy to choose, in a society where blacks are a marginalized minority despite all, the white women who at least sound more real in what they are always get served first.

In a scheme that is a true allegory of the maxim "Capitalism is Racism" black women with the billions they spend every year in the racialist cosmetic industry, are feeding a wolf that is not shy to turn them into cash cow, with a blatant disregard to their being. Also once again it would be dishonest and indecent to blame only the black women who simply suffer the dictates of a racist society, while their alter ego the black men have a great deal of responsibility for their cowardice to prefer white women or those with fair skin. Some believe unequivocally that in a society where racism is institutionalized, their survival instinct dictates the choice of white women, who at least open doors, while the black woman remains a millstone preventing social ascension. A coward resignation of their responsibility to guarantee the virtues of their community. Although some argue that it is rather the black woman in her resilient and collusive attitude towards the oppressor, who led to these extremes, some black men stubbornly swear that black women prefer to prostitute themselves to the establishment that holds the reins of the system of exclusion, in spite of building a stable family against anything that might stop them. They take a fatal shortcut, thinking rather about material gain, by an immoral social ascension, due to the sweat of their behind and their loyalty to the system. Therefore, the loss of moral values ​​and the implosion of the family unit, has put a whole community in mortgage. In the battle of material gain and of a fake social ascension, because one is not necessarily prominent in society because of material possessions, the rampant homosexuality , which uses retribution, granting per diem to new followers in the western black communities , is drastically reducing the number of marriageable men, while the daily adventures of the black male, with underemployment , and abusive incarceration in countries like the United States , has emasculated many who have lost all ambition, and material resources to establish and lead a family. Despite the fact that black women have always and will always have a preference for men of their own race, the stability of such unions remains very precarious because of social tensions imposed by the racialism of the Western world. Fairly enough, one will ask what to do in a critical situation with peaks of up to 90% of celibacy among African American women. The solution probably lies in the resolution of the identity crisis of blacks from the west. It would be important to notice that, when as in the United States, the President they have elected themselves massively, is a strong proponent of legalizing homosexuality, a phenomenon that unfortunately has brought them more sorrow keeping them more alone and sad, it is time to already think about legalizing polygamy, which at least will isolate them less, allowing them to live in a more sociable environment, such as in Africa where they originate. Furthermore a dilution of racial tension by a real policy of social justice, and a self consciounesss of the black populace, would allow members of the black community, to have a healthy, adequate environment and material resources to enable them to start their family, instead of talking to legalize zoophilic, which would completely dehumanize a society already decadent.

By Hubert Marlin Elingui Jr.

Journalist Writer

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