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  • Hubert Marlin

what's the difference between flirting and harassment?


Harassment can be flirting "gone wrong" or flirting in and un-"sensitive" manner, but then surely it can also be unintended? There is a huge grey area, between flirting and harassment, a grey area usually occupied by ugly, unfortunate or mislead me. The perpetrators of harassment simply can't see it in some cases... leading to them crossing over from flirting and into harassment territory. Very often, some men genuinely think they read the woman intend on flirting, but find out to their disbelief that their behavior is interpreted as harassing. The job of being man is not easy in a fast-changing world, people are losing social skills, and want to get what they want, the quickest possible way. Reading body language is notoriously tricky and women either don’t make it easy. Some women expect you to struggle to have them at last, this somehow means an open door to harassment since a man who doesn’t insist enough may not be hooked enough to deserve them. But, the main thing is that, its’ always the way the potential victim perceives the court of the other that count. Courting is an old word that has been replaced by dating, that doesn’t happen before a certain consensual behavior of those involved. But there are still cases of harassment even during dating, since dating is just an agreement to meet, to know each other better. By trying to court a woman, or by being simply too kind or cozy some men will fall in the Unintended harassment and the woman has a right to defend herself first by letting the Man know that she’s uncomfortable with the behavior. Here, it’s important to address clearly the issue to the man, saying nothing can be logically interpreted as a tacit agreement. A man who will continue to abound in the same behavior after being warned fall logically in the category of, malicious or aggressive harassment. Meanwhile there’s still a blurry line between the two, so both parties have a right to disagree. very few women ask openly men to have intercourses with them, it’s always to the man to interpret what the woman want and he can be wrong logically. Nevertheless, after crossing a certain line touching a body part for example, when a woman says no, it’s always better to stop, and say sorry. In those cases it’s up to women to forgive since in this situation in regards of the law they already have a case they can take to court, and the repetition of such behavior or the dominant position of the man will simply add to the case. Sexual harassment is clearly a huge problem, but there will always be instances when it was unintended as such. The key difference between flirting and sexual harassment is that sexual harassment is unwelcome. The contact was not invited or accepted.

It is one-sided because only one of the people in the situation wants to be in that situation. It does not matter how the harasser says he or she "meant it"; it only matters how it makes the offended side feel. Sexual harassment is unwanted sexual behavior, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment conduct could be made either explicitly or implicitly with the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment. In the United States, unwelcome or unwanted behavior is critical when determining cases of sexual harassment. Unwelcome behavior does not necessarily mean involuntary action, as it is possible for the victim to consent to certain conduct and voluntarily participate in it even though it is offensive and objectionable. Hence, sexual conduct is unwanted when the person subjected to it considers it to be unwelcome or unwanted. The widening ambit of what constitutes sexual harassment has made it hard to determine exactly when flirting becomes sexual harassment. Unfortunately, a lot of complaints are not taken seriously because they are looked upon as cases of harmless flirtation or teasing. This has led to the amount of reported cases of such violence being reduced. Sexual harassment includes many things from actual or attempted rape or sexual assault to sexual comments about a person’s clothing, anatomy, or looks or even staring at someone. The list of behavior is endless. What is relevant when ascertaining whether sexual harassment has occurred or not is the impact that such behavior has rather than the intent of the behavior.Whether an incident amounts to sexual harassment or not will depend on balancing the severity of the incident and its frequency. The purpose of such a balancing act is to ensure that offensive comments are not made in the work environment but also to protect employers from liability for every objectionable remark. It is a fine balance that seeks to protect the person making the remark and the person receiving such remark. However, a single incident of unwanted behavior could very well constitute sexual harassment. Behavior that has the potential of being sexual harassment will be assessed from the perspective of a reasonable person (or reasonable woman). Under the reasonable standard, unless one-time unwelcome behavior is sufficiently severe, the behavior must be pervasive or regular to qualify as sexual harassment. So, a person in position of power man or woman making unwelcome sexist remarks or asking sexual favors to fall directly in the situation of sexual harassment. The case of harassment still as difficulties to be assessed clearly since it’s always a person word again somebody else word, eyes witnesses are most of the time impossible to get, since it happens in general behind closed doors. Meanwhile if the law forbids some behavior it cannot forbid to fall in love even if one is in position of power. But in this case the basic rule is to see in what situation the flirtatious behavior has occurred and specially how the person submitted to such behavior has felt. The feeling is a blurry line that remain in the realm of people mind that’s why to avoid drama it’s always better to forbid itself any flirt in the job place.

Finally, with high profile case of harassment making the frontpage of news there is a legitimate fear on the situation on relationship between men and woman for aeon it has always been the duty of the man to court the woman if men cannot court women anymore, because they fear to end up in jail, there is a risk of higher level of celibacy in the western world where rules on harassment are drastically enforced. If any man sensed enough start to think twice before talking to a woman, Brothels and online dating sites will not be empty anytime soon, as they are the only places where idylls and sexual intentions are accepted, automatically. Read More at www.flashmag.net


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